I’ve asked myself this question so many times. I think they just exist. Everywhere. The only thing I can do if another one appears is run after the first red flag. 🚩 not wait.
Are you still in Mexico Bougie? It's a nice release poem! I feel you. I hope I am done with all my narcissists. Could not survive another...
I wish I got so many comments as you on my poems, I don't usually get even one and it makes me feel so lonely and like I should stop sharing. But I continue to share anyway - dropping my thoughts and feelings into the void - just like I did with my parents who never really listened... I think I am pretty raw but maybe I need to be more raw.... anyway! Any tips for becoming visible on Substack welcome!
Hi Michelle. Yes im still here in Mexico, travelling. And there seems to be just as many narcissists here as in the US. Unfortunately. But the growth I’ve shown in myself is I left sooner than later. Keep writing, it takes time. I read a lot and engage with writers I love so for me it’s become a community. You’ll get there. Your Youniverse Calendar is a catchy name.
Thanks :) Yes - the Youniverse is a kind of theme for the last 5 years of my work. My calendar is called this - and so is my first album of songs. May we collectively move into a Youniverse that no longer attracts narcissists.
I sometimes think of that Eurythmics song : some like to abuse and some like to be abused and I wonder if that has been me? Why else would I be with these types of people? The human psyche is quite complex. I hope you meet some friendly people on your travels. :)
This feels like standing inside the fire and realizing it’s been alchemy all along. The rage, the ruin, the ritual—every line burns clean. “Maybe destruction is just the doorway to return,” stopped me cold. What a stunning reclamation of self.
Wow — that's like scripture written in scar tissue. The shift from “the crushing” to “the rebuild” gave me chills. There’s something sacred about naming the breaking for what it is — not destruction, but transformation. You turned pain into power here. -Kelly
This felt like watching someone crawl out of the wreckage and crown themselves with what’s left. The shift from “let it crush” to “I am the resurrection” gave me chills destruction as devotion. That’s power reclaimed. Always here for you my friend 🫶🏼✨
you were here for me when you asked are you ok? and i said fine. and you said yeah that means youre not give it to me straight. and i cried a mess cuz you know what i was going through. love you for that.
Literally always here for you I know how it feels to just be abandoned by someone you really cared about but what I’ve learned is they don’t get to see me rise 🤷🏽♀️
they see us after we rise when we are indifferent…. like when you saw yours at the donut shop and said “this is bullshit” or something like that which I will always remember.
you think she’ll call you back or be like wtf? as soon as this guy comes to pick up his suitcase i took to my mom’s house for him to get there… im gonna block him. done.
Samu! Thank you. This was one of those writings that came out in about 5 minutes… versus all the others sitting in drafts…. because the pain had to be alchemized into something, like you say. x
Hello there Bougie, I hope you’re well.
Been seeing your notes for a few weeks now, I like your style, it’s unique and that’s rare!.
I thought you may enjoy an article of mine:
https://open.substack.com/pub/jordannuttall/p/the-cost-of-love?r=4f55i2&utm_medium=ios
thanks Jordan... checking your post out now. x
Your welcome Bougie, thank you!.
Why do you fall for these guys?
I’ve asked myself this question so many times. I think they just exist. Everywhere. The only thing I can do if another one appears is run after the first red flag. 🚩 not wait.
Be the Phoenix love, be the Phoenix 🐦🔥!
Oh gosh I needed that visual… thanks Jody. xx
Are you still in Mexico Bougie? It's a nice release poem! I feel you. I hope I am done with all my narcissists. Could not survive another...
I wish I got so many comments as you on my poems, I don't usually get even one and it makes me feel so lonely and like I should stop sharing. But I continue to share anyway - dropping my thoughts and feelings into the void - just like I did with my parents who never really listened... I think I am pretty raw but maybe I need to be more raw.... anyway! Any tips for becoming visible on Substack welcome!
I will share my book review of Escape soon!
Hi Michelle. Yes im still here in Mexico, travelling. And there seems to be just as many narcissists here as in the US. Unfortunately. But the growth I’ve shown in myself is I left sooner than later. Keep writing, it takes time. I read a lot and engage with writers I love so for me it’s become a community. You’ll get there. Your Youniverse Calendar is a catchy name.
Thanks :) Yes - the Youniverse is a kind of theme for the last 5 years of my work. My calendar is called this - and so is my first album of songs. May we collectively move into a Youniverse that no longer attracts narcissists.
I sometimes think of that Eurythmics song : some like to abuse and some like to be abused and I wonder if that has been me? Why else would I be with these types of people? The human psyche is quite complex. I hope you meet some friendly people on your travels. :)
That song is good. Makes me wonder too.
Beautiful & poignant 💔❤️🩹❤️🔥
thanks BeBfoo… i like that name.
It’s short for Brian Eric Bothwell 😊
ah ok nice to virtually meet you Brian!
This feels like both a scream and a prayer raw, sacred, necessary.
You turned destruction into ritual, pain into something almost holy.
Your words burn, but in their fire there’s healing.
You are not the wound. You are what rose from it. 🖤
thanks Dora. i’m slowly rising. slowly. every day.
Every day adds another petal. Keep blooming, even through the ash. 🌹❤️
💝
I love the redemption arc here.
You show the wreckage, then the resurrection, and I love that I get to witness it.
I thought I made it to the other side but honestly I’m homicidal today. Want to rip his skin off. So here we are…
Just another stage Cyn. Feel it, write about it, scream or something and let it all out.
Here we are indeed.
Most importantly, you’re here. That’s what matters.
That line — “maybe destruction is just the doorway to return” —
feels like the truth most of us spend a lifetime resisting.
The kind of breaking that doesn’t destroy,
but remakes.
This is sacred work. 🤍
thank you Regina… this one poured out of me like blood I couldnt bandage
ooh… I know that kind of pour — when it’s not written, it’s released. more blood than ink.♥️
This feels like standing inside the fire and realizing it’s been alchemy all along. The rage, the ruin, the ritual—every line burns clean. “Maybe destruction is just the doorway to return,” stopped me cold. What a stunning reclamation of self.
Thanks for those words AG. this one burned out of me...
Wow — that's like scripture written in scar tissue. The shift from “the crushing” to “the rebuild” gave me chills. There’s something sacred about naming the breaking for what it is — not destruction, but transformation. You turned pain into power here. -Kelly
thanks Kelly - trying to stay in the rebuild but i’m going back and forth like a see saw… 💔
damn cyn:
I am the resurrection.
The ash that still burns.
The flame that refuses to die.
The heart that still beats
after breaking.
fucking fire
also fuck him seriously. can i send him a box of gorillas shit?
if i cared to get his forwarding address id say please but all i can say is its finally THE END.
let's keep him as the end! no more sequel!
he doesnt even deserve a fucking footnote.
thats the energy!
This felt like watching someone crawl out of the wreckage and crown themselves with what’s left. The shift from “let it crush” to “I am the resurrection” gave me chills destruction as devotion. That’s power reclaimed. Always here for you my friend 🫶🏼✨
you were here for me when you asked are you ok? and i said fine. and you said yeah that means youre not give it to me straight. and i cried a mess cuz you know what i was going through. love you for that.
Literally always here for you I know how it feels to just be abandoned by someone you really cared about but what I’ve learned is they don’t get to see me rise 🤷🏽♀️
they see us after we rise when we are indifferent…. like when you saw yours at the donut shop and said “this is bullshit” or something like that which I will always remember.
That whole situation is still bullshit in my head and honestly today I called her phone just to see if I was still blocked…..
I’m not but she didn’t answer 🤷🏽♀️
you think she’ll call you back or be like wtf? as soon as this guy comes to pick up his suitcase i took to my mom’s house for him to get there… im gonna block him. done.
I doubt she will call me back 😂 I did it more for me and I hope it makes her wonder y I randomly called her but I don’t think she cares 🤷🏽♀️
Whoa! That is some 🔥. Alchemists rejoice...listen learn love for its the way to freedom.
Keep going
thanks Stephen. That’s the only thing we can do… keep going. x
Beautiful and powerful! I love your work.
that warms me to hear. 💛
Oh God, this is haunting, Cyn! The ashes we paint our faces with, burnt embers of love.
Thanks Rea - im in a little less pain today after releasing this. 🖤
This is pure alchemy turning pain into something sacred.
The line “He was the lesson. I was the altar.” hit like a truth I didn’t know I still needed to hear.
Raw Holy Unapologetically alive!!!🖤❤️❤️
Samu! Thank you. This was one of those writings that came out in about 5 minutes… versus all the others sitting in drafts…. because the pain had to be alchemized into something, like you say. x